MUSTACHES

Mustaches come in a variety of ways
Some date back to even pre-historic days
Just clinging to the lip or all over the chin
They adorn an otherwise ordinary grin!

Next time at the mall or a barber shop
Take a minute or two to witness the crop
Of hairy caterpillars of every kind
Portraying the psychology of mankind...

The handle-bar mustache with waxed tips
Serves to balance a pair of jumbo lips
And the Fu Man Chu is grown to draw
Attention away from a gigantic jaw!

The pencil-line mustache, you may perhaps loathe,
But the poor bloke hardly gets any growth
The bushy mustache, on the other hand,
Is the result of a troublesome thyroid gland!

And the side-long strands of a droopy kind
Must be a product of the Confucius mind
And the square roots of the Chaplin era
Must be facial expression of algebra!

Now to the colors, if I might add,
The real black ones aren't so bad
The reds stand out, the browns are quiet
And the blonds must be put on a protein diet!

As for the texture, each one is unique
The bristly ones need pruning once a week
The wiry must be twirled, waxing not needed
And the silky tend to mat if left unheeded!

So there you have it, all said and done
Mustaches are certainly a lot of fun
I don't profess to be a mustache maven
After all, I'm just another clean-shaven